A REASON FOR EVERYTHING
For every pain that we much bear,
For every burden, every care,
There’s a reason.
For every grief, that bows the head,
For every tear drop that is shed,
There’s a reason.
For every hurt, for every plight,
For every lonely, pain-wracked night
There’s a reason.
BUT IF WE TRUST GOD, AS WE SHOULD,
IT WILL WORK OUT FOR OUR GOOD.
For only God knows the reason.
I had a miscarriage last May 9, 2006. I lost a much prayed-for baby and I was devastated. I did not merely lose an embryo. I lost my child, and that child was as real to me, and just as loved, as my daughter Abby. I even had a name already: Maria, for a girl. MAIA would have been her nickname.
I came into terms with my grief by hanging on to the message of that poem: that there is a reason for every bad thing that happens in our lives. I needed to believe that God did not make me go through that pain for no reason at all, that there is a purpose that is bigger than my puny self. He would not give a life and take it back so soon for no reason at all! God never plays games with us.
So I embarked on a journey of discovery, searching for the meaning and purpose behind my loss. I created a blog (www.losingmaia.blogspot.com) to remember Maia, my broken bird.
I also started an advocacy for compassionate medical professionals. It appeared in this blog: http://aboutmyrecovery.com/2006/05/30/compassionate-medical-professionals-wanted/. This is part of the bigger meaning that I am searching for and I am looking forward to joining forces with another grieving mother soon. She is a doctor, and she also wants to take up the same cause.
We have all been hurt, one way or another. In those dark times, have you ever asked God: “why?” I asked that question from Him too. He has not revealed the answer to me yet, but I find comfort in believing that whatever that reason may be, it has to be for something that is ultimately good for as many people as possible!
I lost my baby. Because of that, I started writing letters to everybody. I was told that I could “write”. MetroPost noticed and I was invited in. Can you see the connection? I got this column as a consequence of my loss!
So I embraced the opportunity to write for MetroPost as part of my ongoing search for the good that must come out in exchange for my pain. A plain housewife like myself can only hope to do it by sharing my life, and whatever lessons, insights and wisdom I might have gained along the way.
For instance, I revealed that I was molested to put a face to the “survivor” of child sexual abuse. I wanted to send across the message that “if it had happened to me, then it can happen to your children as well!” And if I saved one child from losing his/her innocence through that article, then I would say that my pain has found its worth.
There are so much more that I wanted to share with you, my dear reader. Let me take this final opportunity to tell you briefly about some of them because I think that they are very important to us:
Be warned against telephone callers. Tell your helpers again and again NEVER to give away ANY information about your family. I learned my lesson the hard way. That incident could break any marriage in half.
How about those of you who visit internet cafes? Be sure to sign off. I forgot to do it once. It almost broke MY own marriage in half.
Women who are finding it difficult to have babies – don’t lost hope. Medical science can help. I was able to have a baby despite my infertility. But it will cost you a lot of money, so start making sacrifices now. You can do that. A child is worth every sacrifice in this world.
Those of you who have lost children, especially very young ones: you are not alone in your pain. Let me introduce you to the Compassionate Friends Philippines, a grief support group for newly bereaved parents. (http://compassionatefriends.info/index.php). You will find friends who will understand you because each member has gone through the same pain that you may be going through right now. Call or text Noemi Lardizabal- Dado: 0917-810-1582, or visit her blogsite - http://aboutmyrecovery.com/, or email her: firstname.lastname@example.org. Believe me, she will help you as she helped me. No fees, nothing. Only friends who will understand your anguish.
Then there is this little 7-month old baby who desperately needs an open-heart surgery. Through this column, I had hoped that I could reach out to the hearts of every mother and father reading this now. Some members of the SUHS Batch ’84 are racing against time trying to raise enough money to help her. Please help us help this baby. It is not too late yet. If you need to know more, please contact me at this number: 0919-225-7170.
Finally, for the wonderful people behind the MetroPost….thank you for this opportunity to write for your paper. By giving me a voice, you helped ease my pain considerably.
Let me share the poem with you. I hope to share it with our readers as well.
Take heart from its message that there is a reason for everything, especially for the difficulties that you are facing now. Hang on to your faith and believe that God is orchestrating every event that happens, and that every little occurrence will fit like a piece of a puzzle in His grand plan for all of us. You may not know God’s reasons for your troubles now, but they will be revealed to you in time. I will look forward to that time when we all have our “Ah-now-I-know” moment.
I remember a line from the movie Jurassic Park: "life will find a way". Yes, that is also true for you. A great paper like MetroPost will also find a way to go on.
This is not goodbye Metropost. We all look forward to seeing you back in the stands once again. Until next…..