Abby and Myles: One's my baby .. the other's my dream baby ...

Happiness is ... FAMILY

THE OTHER SATELLITE THAT REVOLVES AROUND OUR SUN

Nonoy, my other half, in his spare time touring the decommissioned carrier,
USS Lexington in Corpus Christi (Texas?)

THE SUN AROUND WHOM THIS MOM REVOLVES!

Abby as Princess Jasmine in a school play

My beautiful flower girl

Abby's First Holy Communion

My Birthday Girl!

My little twirler. She's so exhausted she could barely

manage a smile for Mama!

Innocents in Paradise

I said again and again that I wanted Abby's childhood to last for

as long as it could. Here are some really great reasons:

It's that joyous abandon that can be found only in childhood ...

It's that innocence that says to h-ll with society's conventions ... there's time enough for that ... and it's the rest of our lives ...




For now, we'll just be children as only children could ever be!

It started as a family lunch out one lazy Sunday (after attending Mass) at El Dorado Beach Resort in Dauin, Negros Oriental to celebrate Tito Carl's birthday, dad of cousins Gabby, Raffy and Cody.

Just lunch. No swimming.

So off we went with Abby only in her shirt and skirt.

They asked for permission to frolick in the sand ... no problem! "Go ahead" ... said parents too busy chatting with each other to pay close attention to what the children were up to next.

Before we knew it, one child was ankle deep in water ... "Mom! Can we wet our legs?" .....

Well, to cut this story short, mothers Tita Nini and myself finally decided to take their shirts off (Gabby, Raffy and Cody had only one spare each while Abby had absolutely none).... as one child after another went in deeper and deeper into the water....

We knew our brood well enough to realize that saying NO to swimming was futile. Children being children, you know .....

She makes my heart happy!

That's Powpee ... Abby's baby. She refers to herself as Powpee's Mommy. Of course, that makes me the Lola (grandma)!!!

We got this mixed Pomeranian for Abby two and a half years ago when she saw a falling star and started wishing for a puppy.

At five years old then, we wanted her to go on believing that the world still held wonders such as falling stars and tooth fairies.

She named her puppy herself, Pow-Pee ... because she was always pooing and peeing ... see?

Next to Abby (or is it Abby next to her?), Powpee is the most adored member of the household! Even my husband cannot resist her charms.

Too bad she eats mostly inun-unan, that's fish cooked in vinegar, salt, and garlic. That made her breath deadly!!! But we love her nonetheless! We just don't encourage her to open her cute little mouth when she lies down like that on our laps :)

Back to normal?

There is this one very strange thing about our being an OFW (Overseas Filipino Worker) family. It is this eerie feeling that “normal” family life resumes after Papa has left for another contract abroad.

Does that seem odd to you? It is, even for me who’s been living that life everyday for the past ten years. I don’t want to accept it as “our truth”, but there it is. There is no denying the fact that no matter how loved Papa is, and no matter how much we cherish every moment he spends with us, those times together often pass so swiftly, one is sometimes left wondering whether they had happened at all.

Having him with us is vacation time, a break from routine, time off the “normal”. Routine is Mama and Abby alone doing our usual stuff together … Normal is Mama as both mother and father … Mama being her usual boring self, the
no-fun-at-all-kind-of-boring-mom-who-always-says-NO-NO-NO that Abby always complains about to her dad … normal is Mama making all decisions and having all the burdens of everyday life falling on her shoulders alone.

Vacation time from our usual everyday life is having Papa filling our home with laughter as he takes time off banging his hammer or fixing whatever needs to be fixed around the house to do a quick dance for us, gyrating before us with all the grace of a bamboo pole.

Vacation time means endless squeals of delight coming from Abby and her friends Carla and Jeina as they played hide and seek with Tito Nonoy … or early morning trips to Palinpinon where Abby and Papa liked to make suroy … and coming home with eyes wide with excitement as they told stories of hot springs, foul-smelling steam or gigantic balete trees discovered along the way.

Vacation time is Mama taking the passenger seat and not having to worry about navigating that obstacle course we call the Dumaguete streets … it is a time when Mama figuratively hands over that mantle of responsibility she has so gotten used to wearing to its rightful owner. It is also a time of struggle, when after having gotten used to holding the reins of control for so long, one has to consciously check one’s impulses with the constant reminder: the boss is already home.

But with each departure comes the end of that vacation time. Then it’s back to … yes, our normal lives.

Sadly, this is the tragedy being lived everyday by every OFW family, where more often than not, the normal family is an incomplete family.

Abby's Ballet Recital

Cody and Abby during technical rehearsals

Abby with school and ballet classmate Nicole

We referred to them as the blue girls and the pink girls. The blue girls are in the more advanced class while Abby and the rest in pink are in beginners. I took this picture at the ballet studio located at the rear of Luce Auditorium in Silliman University.

Killing time by launching another gameboy tournament: Raffy (checking out the girls), Gabby (in blue shirt), Abby, Cody (on yaya's lap) and Mommy Nini outside the ballet studio

The girls with Teacher Chini during technical rehearsals receiving final instructions.

Doing their curtain call

Abby had her 2nd ballet recital last February 26. We parents had the greatest fun dolling up our daughters (and thanks to Teacher Maru, by the way, for doing their make-up especially that fish tail eyeline) and proudly watched from the audience as our beloved girls goofed up onstage in the most adorable ways imaginable!

Of course, the "adorable" part could only come from the perspective of the parents involved! But we wanted to believe that the rest of the audience thought so too! In fact, we told ourselves that their performance will be remembered, not for their blunders, but for how adorable they were while they were committing those mishaps!!! He he he! After all, as little ballerinas, they were not expected to be perfect yet, blah blah blah .....

I know, I know ,,, only another parent whose young daughter has been to a ballet recital would be willing enough to swallow that line.

But they really were adorable in their tutus!!!

But then again, this is Abby's mother writing. Nobody has to believe me!

But, but .....

Post Script: (March 9, 2007)

I started writing the draft of this post a day or two after the recital. I could not post it right away because I found it hard to upload pictures (a single picture would take around 10 minutes to upload with my dial-up connection). I was in a very different mood then, any reader could tell that right away.

Lately though, I learned that behind the fun and excitement that we were having as we prepped our daughters up for their number, a very ugly scene was going on in the dance studio located at the rear of the auditorium.

A very irate mother (so say the least) complained of her daughter's name having been omitted in the list of dancers that was distributed to the audience. She had a very valid reason for complaining, but she went beyond the bounds of acceptable human conduct when she started slapping Teacher Ronnie around, a very gifted dancer and choreographer, who also happened to be Abby's teacher in another dance class, and who was, incidentally, the wrong person to take that matter up, BECAUSE HE DID NOT PREPARE THE PROGRAMME!

The entire incident was related by another Dumaguete blogger, Ian Casocot, in his site The Spy in the Sandwich entitled MONSTERS.

I just have to say something about that incident. I cannot keep quiet on this matter. It has aroused my outrage, not only because I know and respect the decent person who has been so shamelessly humiliated, but because people like the woman mentioned in Ian's blog should not be allowed to get away with her actions without anybody saying a thing or two about it!

As always, we get back to our being Filipinos, so timid ... and yet we complained of being abused here and there ... I wonder whose fault it is too?

THE TEACHER DESERVES AN APOLOGY!

I want to add my thoughts on that incident related to us by my fellow columnist Ian Casocot re: Monster. I know the choreographer personally because my daughter attends his dance class. I have nothing but the highest regard for him, not only because he is an extremely gifted dancer and choreographer, but because he was a kind, cheerful, patient and gentle mentor to little girls who were just learning to find their dancing feet. But most of all, he is a gentleman through and through.

To have his dignity trampled that way, and in full view of his dancers and students, for
negligence he absolutely had nothing to do about, over a small matter that could have been settled in another place and in a more appropriate time, and in a manner that will do justice to our claim as “gentle” people … is simply unforgivable!

HE DESERVES AN APOLOGY!

I hope that he would not decide to leave Dumaguete because of that monstrous incident. Our little girls are thriving under his care and we wish them to continue learning from him.

Remember Teacher, that woman does not represent the face of all the other ballet mothers like me who respect you and appreciate what you do for our precious children.

Finally, I hope that others will join me in saying …

THE TEACHER DESERVES AN APOLOGY!

Abby turned 7!!!

Abby had a simple birthday celebration with all the children in Southdale Integrated School. I just prepared a birthday cake and baked spaghetti, threw in sliced bread, 4 gallons of ice cream and juice, and lo! we had a party!

The children gathered around the table. I would like to believe that they were admiring the cake I made for Abby, ha ha ha! Why not? Look at where their eyes seemed focused on ... I'm tickled pink!

The ice cream was a big success! It became an eat-all-the-ice-cream-you-can-eat day! Teachers, staff, yayas, even the security guard, joined in the fun!

Cody, Dom, Jeina, Abby, Micole and Carla with Jollibee and Hetty

We originally planned two parties: one party in Southdale with Abby's schoolmates and another one with family and friends and selected close buddies from school.

But as Abby began warming up to the idea, the list of friends she wanted in her party kept growing longer. I tried to limit the number of guests not only for obvious reasons, but also because the venue might no longer be able to accomodate a bigger crowd. But my brat exclaimed, "But Ma, it's my birthday...!" Who could argue with that logic? I gave up and told her ok - invite everyone you'd like to be in your party.

Behold the leaping Abby! I love this picture. It speaks millions of the fun and enjoyment she was having! Oh, to be a child again ...

I consider the gift of childhood among the most important we could give to our children. It can only be had once in their lifetime ... there is no getting it back. We owe it to them to let them enjoy it as much, and for as long, as they can!

There was pandemonium everywhere!

The Moms and Dads looked like they had fun too!

Who could wrap the mummy the fastest? The girls won this round. Abby took over hosting duties when she grabbed the mic from the Jollibee host.

Cousins Micole and Kelly with Tita Camille

One of the most fun events in any party ... scrambling over the goodies from the piñata!

Christmas onboard the Libra J

Some of the officers and crew of M/V Libra J posing for the camera during their Christmas dinner party.

Some of them probably had nothing better to do so they horsed around .... errr.... reindeered around!

Nonoy and the ship cook everyone calls Cookie, the amazing man behind the party. He singlehandedly prepared all that food, did the backdrop, made the reindeer head cuttings & candy canes, hang the balloons, and apparently, still found himself with more free time in his hands, so he proceeded to decorate the ceiling.

I commented to my husband that their Chrsitmas dinner looked like a cross between a children's party and a JS prom!

He told me that I was just envious! Oh yeah, he was right. I was green with envy. Wish I could whip up a banquet like Cookie.

Cookie showing off his obra maestra. I turned green again! Those are flower and bird carvings made from fruits and vegetables! And look at the swans carved out of ice! How I wish I could do those too!

Cookie made Libra J's Christmas Party look like a reception in some 5-star hotel that night.

Yes, they had lechon too! Not as pretty as the ones we can buy from the "professional" lechon people though! A few years ago, the cook from another ship forgot to take the frozen pig out of the freezer ... they only got to eat the crispy skin!

Grown men playing parlor games. From the looks of it, they had fun too!

Filipino seamen live a lonely life amidst hard and dangerous work. This must have been a welcome break from their daily grind.

Happy Birthday Papa!

happy birthday papa from abby & mama& powpee

Birthday greetings Abby typed herself for Papa who celebrated his birthday yesterday, Philippine time. But he's somewhere near Venezuela right now, so it's actually still February 23 back where he is.

The crew of M/V Libra J had this sumptuous feast last Christmas!

Swashbuckling Pirates, Anyone?

The Somali pirates in their small boat carrying rocket launcher, left, off Somalia, Saturday Nov. 5, 2005. There had been 23 reported attacks off the Somalian coast since March, including attacks on two United Nations ships carrying relief supplies. On Saturday, two boats full of pirates approached the Seabourn Spirit about 100 miles (160 kilometers) off the coast of Somalia and fired rocket-propelled grenades and assault rifles.



The words pirates or piracy either calls to mind the swashbuckling charcoal-eyed Captain Jack Sparrow of the Pirates of the Caribbean or evoke the image of cheap CDs and DVDs every Dumagueteño knows exactly where to get.

But to the hundreds of thousands of Filipino seafarers and their families, pirates hold none of that romantic glamour. Rather, the name itself holds a decidedly menacing significance.

Piracy is orbbery committed at sea, or sometimes on the shore, by an agent without a commission from a sovereign nation. Seaborne piracy against transport vessels is a very significant issue in the world of international commerce (with estimated worldwide losses of US$13 to $16 billion per year), particularly in the waters between the Pacific and the Indian Oceans, off the Coast of Somalia, and in the Strait of Malacca and Singapore.

One-third of the world’s trade and half of the world’s oil supply are carried through the Strait of Malacca by some 60,000 vessels every year. The strait connects the Pacific and Indian oceans and is the shortest sea route to Asian countries. This being one of the world’s busiest shipping lanes, it is of little wonder this narrow strait bordered by Malaysia and Indonesia became the most pirate-infested channel of the world.

But unlike the unforgettable Captain Jack Sparrow who brandished nothing but his sword and single-shot pistol, 21st century pirates now wield rocket-propelled grenades and AK-47s and chase gigantic but slow-moving merchant ships onboard speedboats with an audacity we’d normally see only in the movies.

The threat posed by these modern-day pirates is nothing to be laughed at. The International Maritime Bureau (IMB) identified Somalia, Malacca Strait, Indonesia, Bangladesh, West Africa, and Nigeria as piracy hotspots. It reported 127 assaults on ships during the first half of 2006. These assaults included 74 instances where ships were actually boarded, 11 were hijacked, 156 seafarers taken hostage, 13 kidnapped and 6 killed. Pirates killed 30 crewmembers in 2004, and 21 a year earlier.

The recent kidnapping of 24 Filipino seafarers off the coast of Nigeria prompted me to write about this topic today. My husband being a seafarer himself, I think of their families and I feel their anguish as they face each day not knowing if they would ever see their loved ones again.

If this fear seems overrated, take this incident for instance: in late November 1998, fishermen in Shantou, China dredged up a find that would go down in the annals of modern maritime history. But their find was nothing anybody in a boat would hope to repeat, ever again. In their net, they found a corpse, its mouth taped shut and bound to a metal weight. Over the course of several days, fishermen in the area would bring up several more — all crew members of the Hong Kong-owned, Panama-flagged cargo ship, the Cheung Son, that had been reported missing weeks before.

Police later determined the 17,000-ton freighter was hijacked by pirates en route from Shanghai to Malaysia. The pirates boarded and took over the ship by posing as customs officials. They killed all of the ship's 23 crewmembers, threw the bodies overboard, and sold the cargo and the ship itself.

They might have gotten away with the crime, had Chinese authorities not discovered some photographs while investigating a suspect. The pictures showed pirates partying among the dead on the Cheung Son. If I am not mistaken, there were Filipino crewmembers onboard that ship.

In 1991, pirates boarded the Nagasaki Spirit, removed its captain from command, set the ship on autopilot, and left with the ship's master for a ransom, leaving the ship going at full speed with no one at the wheel. The Nagasaki Spirit collided with the Ocean Blessing in the Strait of Malacca. The collision and resulting fire took the lives of 51 seamen. There were only 3 survivors between the two ships. The fire on the Nagasaki Spirit lasted for six days; the fire aboard the Ocean Blessing burned for six weeks.

Most attacks though, are rarely as brutal or as spectacular. The majority are basically muggings at sea. A bunch of hooligans pull up alongside a ship, point a rocket-propelled grenade at the hull, and demand a payoff. Others are plain robbery where the pirates would scramble up the sides of the ship with grappling hooks, demand for the ship’s cash and then steal everything of value that isn’t bolted down.

Other attacks are intended to kidnap the crew in the hopes of a hefty ransom. Late last year, the crew of a South Korean fishing vessel was held by Somali pirates for 117 days and released only after an US$800,000.00-ransom was paid.

It is only in attacks like the one on the Cheung Son — where the pirates planned to steal all the cargo, as well as the ship itself - that the crew's lives are immediately at stake. In past attacks of this nature, pirates have set the crewmen adrift in small boats.

The international maritime industry, of course, undertook measures to reduce if not totally eliminate this threat. For instance, they stepped up the patrols conducted by coalition navies in the Malacca Strait to deter any more attacks in that region.

There were several other significant moves carried out by the UN’s International Maritime Organization and other bodies overseeing the maritime industry. But this is not our thrust in this column today.

What I have in mind is this question: how about the merchant ships? How do these ships protect themselves against these assaults?

Unlike cruise ships that have at most 20 armed personnel onboard, cargo ships like those under my husband’s command are not allowed to arm themselves. If they come under attack, the most they have are flare guns originally intended for search and rescue situations. Beyond that, they have nothing but axes and knives, water cannons, plain wits, clever use of navigational skills, and their ardent prayers that the cavalry would soon come to their rescue.

The cruise ship Seabourne Spirit was able to fend off that highly publicized attack last year by out-navigating pirates chasing the ship in a speedboat and by using a parabolic audio device, a "boom box" that emits an ear-splitting sound, to ward off the attackers. Cargo ships are not equipped with this device.

My daughter and I spent two months on board my husband’s ship in 2004, the M/V P&O Nedlloyd Malindi. We traveled through the Strait of Malacca and even passed Somalia on several occasions. The ship goes on high alert in these areas.

Somalia, though, did not pose as much concern as the ship simply gave it a wide berth, about 200 miles – a distance generally believed to be beyond the range of the pirates’ boats.

But the Strait of Malacca was a different concern altogether. As mentioned, this narrow strip crawls with pirates and there is no evading them. They could be anybody. Even the most innocuous fishing boat could be suspect if it sails too close to the ship.

Hours before approaching the Strait, we used to clear my husband’s cabin of any hint of our presence onboard. (When pirates board a ship, they would immediately head for the ship bridge and the captain’s cabin – where they know the cash-rich safe could be found.)

During night crossings at the Strait, my husband would take us to the deepest bowels of the ship where we’d attempt to sleep practically next to gigantic engines going full throttle. The noise was horrendous and the phrase “I could not hear myself think” became my reality.

Nonoy would stay up all night maintaining constant radio contact with his officers and crew on duty. “All clear” reports were very comforting. It meant that no other sea vessel has moved suspiciously closed to the Malindi.

If a fishing boat or worst, a high-powered speedboat is spotted on radar or by some lookout becoming dangerously close to Malindi, the off-duty crew would be roused and ordered to man their pirate stations. Their orders are to protect their ship by preventing pirates from boarding it. An alert would also be sent out to the authorities.

The aft deck (rear end) of the ship is the most vulnerable spot. This is the lowest point in any cargo ship, thus the pirates’ preferred spot for gaining entry. For the pirates to attempt to board the ship elsewhere would require the skills of an accomplished climber trying to scale at least 4-storys of smooth metal wall amidst the rolling and pitching of the ship.

The crew relies solely on high-pressure water cannons to combat the pirates. Malindi had stationary pumps on each end of the aft deck to prevent pirates from climbing up, and movable hoses that could be trained towards a pirate vessel in the hope of tossing them out into the sea even before they could get closed enough to board the ship.

Anyone who’s seen videos of demonstrators being dispersed by the police with water cannons will get the idea.

To the reader, this column today may only seem like an informative piece that opened up an unknown world or a world represented by mere news items that held no personal significance to the viewer.

But the pirates with their M-16s, AK-47s and grenade launchers and the multi-million dollar ships with their multi-million dollar cargo under the care of 18 or so souls with only their radios, water cannons and flare guns for protection are realities being lived on a daily basis by thousands of Filipino seamen all over the world.

Indeed, the romantic Captain Jack Sparrow could exist only in our imagination. The nitty-gritty reality is that modern-day pirates are as vicious as their predecessors. Unless some definitive move is made to curb their nefarious activities, Filipino seamen in their slow-moving behemoths all over the world will remain sitting ducks, helpless pawns in a world where human life holds not much value next to booties as trivial as mobile phones and palm oil.