Hey, I didn't know that!

Celebrating the joys children bring to us!

Abby, 6 yrs. old: Now I know why there are commercial breaks. That’s when the director says “CUT!”
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(Scene: 3- or 4-year old child eyeing mother’s sagging breasts)

Child: Why are your boobs looking down? They look so sad!

Note: Child’s identity withheld to preserve poor mother’s dignity

* * *

Raffy Cabrera to Mom Dra. Cynthia Cabrera: Mom, I know how we can make more money. We can move to a small house and have our big house rented!

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(Scene: Then 4-yr old Cody Cabrera having Loose Bowel Movement. Tita Carmen Cabrera about to wash her FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER.)

Cody: Tita Carmen, are you sure you know what you’re doing?

* * *

(Scene: Child rummaging through a drawer)
Child: Mommy, what is this? (holding up a condom)
Mother (panicking): Dad, unsa daw na? (Dad, what is that?)
Father: That’s candy.
A few days later…
Child: Why didn’t it taste like candy? I licked it. It was bitter!

* * *

Gabby Cabrera: Tita, why do you keep buying us toys?
Tita Carmen Cabrera: It’s because I didn’t get married and I don’t have my own children.
Gabby: Oh boy! We’re lucky!

* * *

Abby: Tita Cris, you’re a lawyer, right? My Mom told me lawyers know everything!
Atty. Cris Bonganciso: Well, kind of ….
Abby: Well, if you really know everything, tell me … what am I thinking of right now?

* * *

Cody: Mom! Your tummy’s so big! You look pregnant! I know why. It’s because you eat too much!

* * *

Abby: Ma, people go to heaven only after they die, right? So how did the painters know how to draw pictures of heaven when they haven’t been there yet?

* * *

(Scene: Abby looking sourly at her mother’s friend Marilyn Elemia):
Abby: Mommy Tosay, don’t you ever get tired of talking, talking, talking and laughing, laughing, laughing?

* * *

Cody: Mom, I think that you should get more jobs so we will become rich.
Dra. Cynthia Cabrera: Why do you say that Langga?
Cody: When Lola Meding (Cabrera) was young, she had five jobs: teacher, planter ….. she was very rich! But now that she is old, she can’t work anymore, she is poor now …

* * *

(Scene: Then 4-year old Abby tucking the blanket securely under her sick Papa’s body. She did such a good job, her father ended up cocooned from the neck down. Father and Mother looked tenderly at each other, with the same thought running through their minds: “what a sweet and caring child we have …”)

Abby: Look Mama! Now we won’t smell the stink every time Papa farts!