Sad, Sad Day

This picture was taken during Abby's birthday party. It was a happy day for Mommy Tosay (center) - a day of joyful anticipation of a future that still held the promise of a wish fulfilled.

But yesterday was a sad, sad day for all of us. Early dawn, LB started spotting. By mid-morning, her period started relentlessly. There was no fooling ourselves anymore. She was not pregnant. I knew how crushed she was, having travelled that road myself countless times before. If only her husband D2 could be with her at that time, it would have been easier for both of them, but he was not.

What can one do to lift a dear friend up? Nothing much really, except spend time with her, make her feel that she was not alone. I could not bear the thought of LB locking herself up in her bedroom with only her unhappy thoughts for company.

I brought her Chow King's fried chicken (that's how we started becoming friends more than 15 years ago - we discovered our common love for chicken!) - hoping our most favorite activity together - EATING!!! - would make her forget even for a few minutes.

LB is naturally a happy person. That smile you see in her face? - it's not only for the camera. That's how she really is. What you see in the picture, that's LB all through and through!

Seeing her yesterday, I knew that nothing could really keep her down for long. She is not the type who would wallow in a pool of misery for an indeterminate period of time. I am reminded of a text message that I received from a friend, and which I have kept and saved in my inbox. It goes this way: "if the sun shines in your soul, does it matter if it rains outside? Happiness within overlooks the sadness that any event may bring."

That's my dear friend ... she is crushed, she is dissappointed - in the simplest word there is - yes, she is very, very sad right now. But I just know that she will pick herself up soon and get on with life for I know that she is blessed with eternal sunshine from within.

Isn't she great? Dont' you think that a person like her deserves a shot at motherhood? Any child with a mother like her is truly blessed! If only one can lobby before God ....

I, too, have been asking God for another child. But I've always added LB in my prayers, and asked HIM to grace LB and D2 first. After all, we've been blessed with Abby already ... but then again, I would always add, but if it is Your will that Nonoy and I be given another baby as well ... can't it be possible for LB and I to have babies at the same year?

And now that I have come to know of Marci and Rob ... please Lord, count them in, and don't forget Pau as well .....

As I mentioned in my previous post, LB and I have a similar condition: PCOS (Polycystic Ovaries Syndrome). An online friend, Pau, told me that she also has PCOS.

This condition is actually treatable. Women with PCOS can still have babies with the aid of modern science. Abby is the living proof of this.

LB's case should not dampen the hopes of anybody who is also having difficulty conceiving. In the first place, she has not undergone any intensive fertility treatment yet. The cost is quite prohibitive. The most she's had was Clomyd - which is supposed to induce ovulation. It has not worked for her so far - so she obviously needs stronger drugs.

When she and her husband started talking about adoption before, I told them that talk like that is like waving the white flag already. Surrender only after you have tried everything that is within your means to attempt. For instance, why not go for intensive fertility treatment? We already have a fertility doctor here in Dumaguete! I urged them to go for Artificial Insemination! It is not that expensive. Who knows? It might work for them. I've had two attempts at AI last year but both failed. Maybe LB and D2 would get lucky! It would be great if they could also try IVF, but I heard it would cost half a million pesos per round of treatment.

So far, LB and D2 mostly hoped that she would conceive through natural means. But their present set-up is not helping them at all. D2 works in Cebu and comes home only during weekends. I wonder how many opportunities have been lost when LB could have ovulated (women with PCOS could still ovulate but not regularly) but failed to conceive simply because her husband was away.

This was the point that I wanted to impress upon them when they talked about giving up. They have not tried everything yet. GIVE UP ONLY AFTER EVERY POSSIBLE MEANS HAVE FAILED!!!! Get intensive treatment; get D2 to arrange his schedule so he could be home during her fertile periods; get artificial insemination for heaven's sake! Sell one of your excess properties and go to Manila and try IVF!!! (a child is worth more than any land title, if you ask me!) If Nonoy and I only had that P500t, we would have gone off to Manila even abroad! and went hunting for whoever can perform IVF for us!

Yes, I believe in God. I also believe with all my heart that everything comes from Him, that to have a baby or not is a grace that comes out from His will, thus ....

.... success in any endeavour can come about only with His blessings ....

That is why I also believe in the necessity of helping ourselves. After all, didn't Jesus say something about knocking and about the door being opened to us?