Saturday, February 24, 2007

Christmas onboard the Libra J


Some of the officers and crew of M/V Libra J posing for the camera during their Christmas dinner party.


Some of them probably had nothing better to do so they horsed around .... errr.... reindeered around!


Nonoy and the ship cook everyone calls Cookie, the amazing man behind the party. He singlehandedly prepared all that food, did the backdrop, made the reindeer head cuttings & candy canes, hang the balloons, and apparently, still found himself with more free time in his hands, so he proceeded to decorate the ceiling.

I commented to my husband that their Chrsitmas dinner looked like a cross between a children's party and a JS prom!

He told me that I was just envious! Oh yeah, he was right. I was green with envy. Wish I could whip up a banquet like Cookie.

Cookie showing off his obra maestra. I turned green again! Those are flower and bird carvings made from fruits and vegetables! And look at the swans carved out of ice! How I wish I could do those too!

Cookie made Libra J's Christmas Party look like a reception in some 5-star hotel that night.


Yes, they had lechon too! Not as pretty as the ones we can buy from the "professional" lechon people though! A few years ago, the cook from another ship forgot to take the frozen pig out of the freezer ... they only got to eat the crispy skin!

Grown men playing parlor games. From the looks of it, they had fun too!


Filipino seamen live a lonely life amidst hard and dangerous work. This must have been a welcome break from their daily grind.

Happy Birthday Papa!



happy birthday papa from abby & mama& powpee

Birthday greetings Abby typed herself for Papa who celebrated his birthday yesterday, Philippine time. But he's somewhere near Venezuela right now, so it's actually still February 23 back where he is.

The crew of M/V Libra J had this sumptuous feast last Christmas!

More on the Rondalla Festival


Precious Southdale babies outside the Oriental Negros Convention Center right before the matinee started. (Teacher Merle, Gabby, Raffy, Abby, Nicole, Carla, and Dom)




The Russian Quartet Phoenix

Sheer passion for their art! They played with an intensity and emotion never before seen in Dumaguete. It was not merely a case of the artist playing a musical instrument. It was a passionate fusion of the man and the instrument creating beautiful music as one.

The audience was awestruck! No polite applause here. Our hands ached all throughout their performance.

Wish we could have more of these cultural shows here, like move the entire Cultural Center of Philippines to Dumaguete or something ...




Singapore Rondalla

Don't bother to look for artistry here. By their own admission, they are a fledgling group started 5 months ago - but they promised to be famous in two years' time.

Their really, really charming musical director played a game with us ... they played a few notes and made us guess what it was ... to our surprise, it was DANDANSOY!!! - a beautifully haunting 100% Filipino folksong.

By the way, I was the one who guessed it! Yes, thank you, thank you ... I was great back there, ha ha ha! They should have made me take a bow at the stage!

Their playing was tentative, the arrangements the simplest there are, but by gosh, they charmed us out of our seats! They played Bahay Kubo and another Filipino folk song. What Filipino could resist that? If there would be any voting on the most likable group, they'd win hands down.



La Rondalla Magisterial Procrea (Mexico)

Latin machos. Pure entertainment value. No magic there. But it was fun. Until the policitians went onstage and danced La Bamba with them ... I could puke!

I finally realized it's election season once again! Now I'm really puking!

Thursday, February 22, 2007

2nd International Rondalla Festival

The Celso Espejo Rondalla



Solo performance by an Iranian artist


Unknown to most Filipinos, and even to some DumagueteƱos, the 2nd International Rondalla Festival is presently being held here in Dumaguete. Eleven countries are participating, including of course, the Philippines. Among the participants are Japan, Thailand, Myanmar, Iran, Russia, Mexico, Israel and many others.

I just came home from watching the concert, featuring artists from Iran, Myanmar, and our very own, the Celso Espejo Rondalla. Last night, I also watched performances by Thailand and Japan and another group from Cainta (Rizal, I suppose) composed of high school students.

What can I say? I actually got so much that I want to say that I cannot decide right now where or how to begin.

OK, let me start with this: I appreciate music. I like light classics. I love musicals - Les Miserables, Cats, Phantom of the Opera, and Miss Saigon are my all-time favorites. I can't take hip-hop but I enjoy pop and light rock. I love Josh Groban, Barbara Streisand, Andrea Bocelli, the Three Tenors, Queen, Lea Salonga ,,,, I'm sure there are more artist I like listening to, but just can't think of any of them right now. And oh yes! I love the oldies but goodies .... "sad movies, always make me cry!" ... that just popped into my head! I keep hearing that song over the radio on lazy Sunday mornings.

I became interested in the Rondalla festival, actually not because of my appreciation for music, but only because I was a member of a rondalla when I was in high school. I used to play the banduria, can you believe that? I find it hard to believe myself. Honest! It seemed a hundred years ago ... 27 BIG years (just counted that!) ... can you believe that??? I AM OLD! That can't be argued anymore. (sigh)

I am seriously digressing here ...

So, last night, I went with my aunt and uncle, Tito Carl and Tita Nini Cabrera to the Oriental Negros Convention Center to watch the concert, courtesy of another aunt, Tita Carman Cabrera who gave us free tickets! Bless Tita Carmen! I could not have afforded the P300.00 tickets for the show. I have another free ticket with me right now for tomorrow's concert, featuring a Russian quartet. I am really looking forward to that! Bless Tita Carman again! It's my 3rd FREE ticket!

Where was I? Oh yes, I was interested so when Abby's teacher asked me if I would allow her to watch the matinee on Friday, Feb. 23 with the rest of the students in her school, I said yes, and also bought another ticket for myself. I never thought of watching the nightly concerts because the tickets were expensive. But out of the blue, Tita Carmen asked if I wanted to watch ... free tickets!!!! ... ever saw that famous cheshire cat smile in Alice in Wonderland? That was how huge my grin must have been!

Last night, for the first time ever, I came to understand the following terms, and by that, I meant really, truly understood: "diversity of culture", "unique culture", "rich cultural heritage", etc. I also realized, for the first time ever, how different we Filipinos are from our Asian neighbors, and finally, my observation which I shared with David Atwood, a British friend whom I occasionally chat online with: "I never realized how fascinating we Asians are!!!" To which he replied: "that's why I'm here." I am actually looking at us Asians with new eyes! No wonder people from western cultures find us very interesting!

I am digressing again ...

I saw the Thai performance last night and I was mesmerized. The music was strange to my ears thus, I was not really able to appreciate it well enough, but I was dazzled by their rich costumes (the Filipino baro at saya seem boring and uninspired next to theirs) and I fell in love with their dancers. Their arm movements, down to their fingertips, were pure unadulterated poetry in motion! I was awed by the grace and elegance that they so effortlessly displayed. Pure beauty! I kept sighing with contentment as I watched the visual delight before me. Pity I didn't bring my camera last night.

The group from Japan were professional artists. They entered the stage acting and looking like ... the Japanese that we see in the movies, ha ha ha! what else? I thought of the samurai warriors with their ramrod straight backs ... all the musicians needed were swords to complete the picture. Strange music again. I am not going to put on some airs here, or pretend that I'm some cultured sophisticate with an innate understanding and appreciation for anything that cultured sophisticates are supposed to like .... I am just a small town housewife who just got exposed to different cultures and liking it a lot. (obviously, my previous travels abroad had not done that for me.) I liked the exposure, but I have to be honest, their 14th century music bore me to death. And their dancers! Oh my golly!!! Ok, let me put it this way ... as far as entertainment value is concerned, absolutely zero. BUt if you look at it as an artform ... it was exquisite! I am not gifted enough to be able to express here how it was, so just believe me, it was a revelation! I developed tremendous respect for those artists. I can just imagine the years of training and discipline they must have poured into that performance, for it to come out that way. They seemed to glide like ghosts on the stage. No individual or separate movement could be discerned, each motion flowed like fluid, a seemingly endless flow - motion without end or beginning. As I said, it was exquisite.

I had this stray thought entering my head as we were watching: if this particular performance is a typical traditional Japanese form of entertainment, no wonder the Japayukis became very successful in there!

The Japanese were followed by a Philippine group which showed a fiesta scene complete with maglalatik dancers. After witnessing living art in motion, the Filipino performers struck me as crude, clumsy, and shallow. I wondered: is this how we are as a people?

Tonight, artists from Iran and Myanmar performed. They were, again, strange. I appreciated having seen them perform, not because I particularly enjoyed their perfomances, but because it gave me a glimpse of how they are as a people.

The Philippine's Celso Espejo Rondalla got a standing ovation tonight. They gave us a world-class performance. After playing a medley of folk songs, which the audience truly enjoyed, they dazzled us with a very powerful rendition of the William Tell overture. I was amazed at how a classical music written with violin and other western instruments in mind could be reproduced with such beauty by guitars, bandurias, drums and a base guitar. It was spectacular. And the audience knew it! Believe me, we've had enough exposure to other rondallas giving mediocre to good performances! We knew immediately that we had a gem right before us.

Elegant and graceful Thais ... somber, disciplined, controlled Japanese ... festive and joyous Filipinos ... we are all so different from each other, each one unique, each one of us beautiful, even us pinoys - shallow and crude we may seem - but hey! what's wrong with that? We are a fun-loving people - just listen to our music! - and that makes us beautiful in our own unique way!

Sad, Sad Day


This picture was taken during Abby's birthday party. It was a happy day for Mommy Tosay (center) - a day of joyful anticipation of a future that still held the promise of a wish fulfilled.

But yesterday was a sad, sad day for all of us. Early dawn, LB started spotting. By mid-morning, her period started relentlessly. There was no fooling ourselves anymore. She was not pregnant. I knew how crushed she was, having travelled that road myself countless times before. If only her husband D2 could be with her at that time, it would have been easier for both of them, but he was not.

What can one do to lift a dear friend up? Nothing much really, except spend time with her, make her feel that she was not alone. I could not bear the thought of LB locking herself up in her bedroom with only her unhappy thoughts for company.

I brought her Chow King's fried chicken (that's how we started becoming friends more than 15 years ago - we discovered our common love for chicken!) - hoping our most favorite activity together - EATING!!! - would make her forget even for a few minutes.

LB is naturally a happy person. That smile you see in her face? - it's not only for the camera. That's how she really is. What you see in the picture, that's LB all through and through!

Seeing her yesterday, I knew that nothing could really keep her down for long. She is not the type who would wallow in a pool of misery for an indeterminate period of time. I am reminded of a text message that I received from a friend, and which I have kept and saved in my inbox. It goes this way: "if the sun shines in your soul, does it matter if it rains outside? Happiness within overlooks the sadness that any event may bring."

That's my dear friend ... she is crushed, she is dissappointed - in the simplest word there is - yes, she is very, very sad right now. But I just know that she will pick herself up soon and get on with life for I know that she is blessed with eternal sunshine from within.

Isn't she great? Dont' you think that a person like her deserves a shot at motherhood? Any child with a mother like her is truly blessed! If only one can lobby before God ....

I, too, have been asking God for another child. But I've always added LB in my prayers, and asked HIM to grace LB and D2 first. After all, we've been blessed with Abby already ... but then again, I would always add, but if it is Your will that Nonoy and I be given another baby as well ... can't it be possible for LB and I to have babies at the same year?

And now that I have come to know of Marci and Rob ... please Lord, count them in, and don't forget Pau as well .....

As I mentioned in my previous post, LB and I have a similar condition: PCOS (Polycystic Ovaries Syndrome). An online friend, Pau, told me that she also has PCOS.

This condition is actually treatable. Women with PCOS can still have babies with the aid of modern science. Abby is the living proof of this.

LB's case should not dampen the hopes of anybody who is also having difficulty conceiving. In the first place, she has not undergone any intensive fertility treatment yet. The cost is quite prohibitive. The most she's had was Clomyd - which is supposed to induce ovulation. It has not worked for her so far - so she obviously needs stronger drugs.

When she and her husband started talking about adoption before, I told them that talk like that is like waving the white flag already. Surrender only after you have tried everything that is within your means to attempt. For instance, why not go for intensive fertility treatment? We already have a fertility doctor here in Dumaguete! I urged them to go for Artificial Insemination! It is not that expensive. Who knows? It might work for them. I've had two attempts at AI last year but both failed. Maybe LB and D2 would get lucky! It would be great if they could also try IVF, but I heard it would cost half a million pesos per round of treatment.

So far, LB and D2 mostly hoped that she would conceive through natural means. But their present set-up is not helping them at all. D2 works in Cebu and comes home only during weekends. I wonder how many opportunities have been lost when LB could have ovulated (women with PCOS could still ovulate but not regularly) but failed to conceive simply because her husband was away.

This was the point that I wanted to impress upon them when they talked about giving up. They have not tried everything yet. GIVE UP ONLY AFTER EVERY POSSIBLE MEANS HAVE FAILED!!!! Get intensive treatment; get D2 to arrange his schedule so he could be home during her fertile periods; get artificial insemination for heaven's sake! Sell one of your excess properties and go to Manila and try IVF!!! (a child is worth more than any land title, if you ask me!) If Nonoy and I only had that P500t, we would have gone off to Manila even abroad! and went hunting for whoever can perform IVF for us!

Yes, I believe in God. I also believe with all my heart that everything comes from Him, that to have a baby or not is a grace that comes out from His will, thus ....

.... success in any endeavour can come about only with His blessings ....

That is why I also believe in the necessity of helping ourselves. After all, didn't Jesus say something about knocking and about the door being opened to us?

Monday, February 19, 2007

Mommy Tosay


That's my friend LB Abby is clinging to. Behind them is another friend, As In. Abby calls LB Mommy Tosay. She has been my friend for almost 15 years, one of the bestest I've ever had.

Mommy Tosay and Pops D2 have been married 10 years but no baby yet. Like me, LB has Polycystic Ovaries Syndrome. Like every childless couple, LB and D2 have been praying and hoping for that elusive bundle of joy. When she missed her period, LB started hoping. I hoped and prayed along and we could hardly wait for Sunday to come - the 14th day of her missed period - to do the pregnancy test. I texted her as soon as I woke up this morning - and got a dissappointing news ... it came out negative.

I felt as crushed as LB and D2 might have been. But then I remembered that it was the same with Abby. The test also came out negative initially. The doctor advised us to wait another week to do the test. Nonoy bought a load of pregnancy test kits and we tested every day for another week before we got a definite positive. I told all these to LB and D2. I hope they were encouraged by this. As I kept telling them, hope is not lost as long as LB's menses would not come.

It is ironic how we seem to be in the opposite sides of the poles nowadays. I am as ecstatic as they are dejected. I almost feel guilty for having so much while they have none of the joys a child in the family could bring!

Oh how I pray that God would finally bless them with a child of their own. I also pray the same for my cousin Joy's friends, Marci and Rob - may the sun that shines in my soul be theirs as well.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Happy (almost) 7th Mother's Day to Me!


Around this time exactly 7 years ago, I was in my OB-Gyne's examination table, legs spread wide like a dissected frog, and having my insides poked and probed for what felt like an eternity ... while my husband stood anxiously by my side, holding my hand, and probably trying hard not to think of a beached whale or something, or worst, A LECHON! - while eyeing his wife in that definitely-not-very-enticing position.

Oh gosh! I can't help but laugh at that image of myself in my mind. I looked horrible, but I loved every inch of me at that time! If you ask me, I was in my most beautiful self during my pregnancy - bulging tummy, pimples, dark neck and even darker armpits, swollen feet and ankles, and the best! Quadruple chins! ha ha ha!!! (I'm seriously thinking of Star War's Jabba the Hun right now.)

Forgive me for being so happy here, but I simply am very happy right now. Tomorrow, my beloved brat will celebrate her 7th birthday! The baking pans have been prepared, waiting for me in the kitchen. After posting this, I will make her a three-tiered cake with a princess on top! She's going to go ga-ga over it!

Going back to the examination table, my doc announced that I was already 2-3 cm dilated and should have myself admitted already. Later that day, Nonoy and I moved to SUMC with our bags and all our joy, anticipation and hopes for a complete and happy family just hours away with the coming of our screaming bundle of poo and pee.

I did not give birth until the following day, around 7pm of February 19. I caught a glimpse of a glistening, tomato-faced figure that seemed to stiffen as it wailed like a banshee and my first thought was: OH MY, WHAT BIG EYES SHE'S GOT!!! .... but wait! "she"? we have a girl? but the ultrasound showed us a boy!!??

And that folks, was how Abby got her nickname!

"Abi" in the Visayan dialect, roughly translates to "we thought" or more accurately, it connotes a thought based on a mistaken belief over something, like ... "but we thought you were coming tomorrow instead of today ... !"

We kept talking to our baby girl, then constantly surrounded by blue (blue blankets, blue pillows, blue booties, that blue thingy we used to cover her hands with - cant remember the name right now - etc., etc., ) during her entire infancy, ha ha ha! (that may account for her being such a tomboy now) ...

... and told her "abi namo boy, girl diay!" - in English, it went like this: "we thought you were a boy, and you were a girl the whole time!!!" Abi stuck. We just revised the spelling - and that's how Noelle Marie became Abby.

Advance happy 7th birthday to my Langga!

A BRIGHTER FUTURE FOR KATE!


There’s this little girl named Kate I’ve written about on several occasions last year. At 1 year and 3 months, she is only as small as an 8-month old baby. Kate has Down’s Syndrome and in need of urgent surgery to correct her congenital heart defects.

An open-heart surgery is very expensive here in the Philippines, even for charity patients. Angels have come forward, donating money for Kate’s cause, but still, the amount raised so far is barely enough.

Last December, Dinnah (Kate’s Mom) and I had an inspiration. We wrote to every politician and governmental agency we could think of. We have had very positive responses. For instance, Senator Gordon’s office called up Dinnah and pledged around P60t. The Office of the President and several other senators, even the Department of Health itself, wrote back informing Dinnah that they have referred her plea to the Philippine Charity Sweepstakes, which in turn, responded with a guarantee letter pledging P100t for Kate’s operation.

Kate’s future kept becoming brighter with each coming day, but the news that really filled her life with dazzling rays of hope was a call from the Department of Social Welfare & Development (DSWD) informing Dinnah that they have referred her to the Philippine Airlines (PAL) Foundation, which in turn, will refer Kate to Mending Kids International.

Mending Kids International is a non-denominational organization based in California whose goal is to save lives and bring donated medical care to needy children worldwide. They also “airlift” any child whose condition may be too complex to treat during a brief medical trip and has to be taken to the United States for extended treatment or multiple surgeries. The MKI brochure states:


“To date, children from over sixty countries have traveled to America for
donated medical care. Thousands of foreign children continue to benefit from
modern medical facilities and quality care that is simply unavailable in the
homelands.”
Presently, all the documents needed have been submitted and we are awaiting word that Kate’s application has been approved. We trust in God completely and we know that Kate will be going to America for her surgery.

PAL Foundation is actively involved in this process. PAL will be flying Kate and her Mom to LA for free this year. I just know that!!!

We were informed that there will be housing for Dinnah once Kate is in the hospital. However, if Dinnah herself could find a family who is willing to volunteer as foster care family for Kate during their stay in the US, it would hasten the processing of her application considerably.

For this, another classmate of Dinnah, LilyAnne Nichols, and I have decided to combine our efforts in finding that foster family. We are tapping the resources of the Silliman Alumni Association in California – this is a very active group and have been known to host visiting Sillimanians who are in the US for a concert tour, for instance. Surely, they wouldn’t mind providing a roof to a needy child and her mother?

Whoever’s reading this, please help pray for our success and more importantly, for a brighter, healthier future for our sick baby.



About Mending Kids International ....



A NETWORK OF LOVE


Imagine if your child were born with a congenital heart defect, cleft palate or lip, missing a limb, or any number of life-threatening ailments. Suppose your child was injured or became seriously ill. What would you do? If you lived in the United States, chances are you would rush your child into a clean, sterile hospital for immediate treatment. But what if you lived in a country where the nearest clinic was miles away and hopelessly outdated?

At Mending Kids International we believe that children from all parts of the world are entitled to the quality care that is available here in the United States. When we send volunteer medical teams halfway around the globe to perform surgeries or to supply medicine to an ill or dying child, we are rewarded with the knowledge that we've literally provided that child with a new lease on life. Our volunteers are not only improving, but are saving precious lives every day, in all parts of the world.

Between 1994 and 2005, we operated under the name, Healing The Children California. In 2005, we became Mending Kids International. But our goal has always been the same: to save lives and bring donated medical care to needy children worldwide. We accomplish this through the generosity of volunteers - surgeons, pediatricians, nurses, host families, office and administrative staff - who recognize that healthy children are our future. We donate time, skills, money, resources, and above all, love, to ensure that every child has a chance for a better life.


OUR MISSION

Recognizing that God is the Great Healer and Maker of all Miracles, and that both individuals and organizations have the privilege and opportunity to become His hands, Mending Kids International endeavors to act as His vessel to bring healing to the sick and injured children of this world.

Mending Kids International is a 501(c) (3), non-denominational organization. Our children are served without regard to race, religion, creed, or national origin.


POINTS OF SERVICE


Medical Trips

Childhood diseases and afflictions don't discriminate, and neither do we at Mending Kids International. Our reach extends to highly populated cities as well as secluded shantytowns. Our volunteer network serves urban cities and remote community - anywhere in the world where children lack acceptable medical care. On our trips abroad our goal is to identify and treat the greatest number of children possible. Over the years our medical teams have brought hope to the poorest communities, and continue to touch children from all walks of life. If, for instance, we get a call from a doctor in Guatemala who reports a population of children who need help, we will do our best to send a team of doctors to that area, regardless of how remote.

Whenever possible we try to assist in establishing medical programs in the foreign countries we visit. If facilities or time constraints prohibit us from performing a complicated surgery, we do our best to have the child airlifted to an American hospital.


Foreign Children Airlifted

When a foreign child has a condition that is too complex to treat during a brief medical trip, he or she may be "airlifted" to the United States for extended treatment or multiple surgeries. To date, children from over sixty countries have traveled to America for donated medical care. Thousands of foreign children continue to benefit from modern medical facilities and quality care that is simply unavailable in the homelands.


WHO MAKES IT POSSIBLE?

Doctors
When surgeons scrub up for a surgery on one of MKI 's children, the only pay they receive is a sweet child's smile. As many of the children we treat have life-threatening heart problems the cost for these intricate surgeries can skyrocket to close to one hundred thousand dollars. Motivated by their inner drive to heal, our doctors donate not only their skills but have also been known to spend the night at the bedside of a child who is having a particularly difficult time.

When medical personnel participate on a medical trip, they absorb the loss of income and often forego vacation time. Beyond money and time, the trips involve the personal sacrifices of leaving spouses and families for extended periods. As one doctor said, "The results are our reward." Dr. Ferry, pediatric cardiologist at Cedars-Sinai Hospital adds, "I think this is nothing short of a miracle."

Service Groups
The generous donations from various service and civic groups such as Rotary, Maydayers, Airline Ambassadors or The Fraternal Order of Shriners, have made it possible for Mending Kids International to continue its efforts to save lives all over the world.

Hospitals
Clearly, health care reform is one of the most pivotal issues of our time. But despite rising health care costs, hospitals in the U.S. have managed to make room for needy MKI children from all over the world. We are constantly encouraged by the generosity of American hospitals and their staffs. In addition to donating hospital rooms and equipment, hospital administrators and staff continue to demonstrate a genuine concern for the welfare of children who are terrified and often in pain when they arrive for surgeries and other treatment. These individuals have gone out of their way to provide top-quality care and life saving support, despite the fact that their efforts go unpaid. Unpaid but not unrewarded.

Host Families
Offering the warmth and nurturing of a loving home, the licensed host families of Mending Kids International support the child through the ordeal of their surgeries. The host families, despite considerable economic and emotional sacrifices, open their hearts and homes to complete strangers, often for months at a time. But the sacrifice is small compared to the joy of sending home a healthy child. In their own words, our host parents tell us, "You just can't help but fall in love with these kids."

In addition to supplying food, clothes and incidentals, host families act as surrogate families, giving the children emotional and moral support in and out of the hospital. Our host families come from all walks of life, but they have one thing in common-they would not turn away from a child in need.

Probably the most difficult part of being a host family is when the time comes to say good-bye. They take comfort in the knowledge that these children have families who love them and anxiously await their return. How strong a parent's love must be to send their child off to a foreign place, to unknown people in the hopes of a better life. How strong a host family's love must be to endure the process of a child's surgery, the doctor's visits, the healing, the growing to love this little person, only to say good-bye. Good-bye to a child with a long healthy future ahead.

Volunteers
Without volunteers, Mending Kids International could not exist. Fortunately, the volunteers of Mending Kids International are the heart that keeps this organization running. Our team loves children and our spirit is infectious. The beauty of Mending Kids International is that everyone can make a difference. While doctors, nurses and other medical professionals donate their valuable skills, hospitals, administrators, travel coordinators and other volunteers handle logistical details and paperwork.


Donations
Donations of time, services and money are the life-blood of any non-profit organization. At Mending Kids International we survive on donations. Medical equipment considered outdated in the United States can be a life-saving instrument to a poor, developing nation. Sutures, antibiotics and syringes, all common place pharmaceutical goods can be hard-to-find commodities in foreign countries. Perhaps our greatest challenge is obtaining funds, which are used to send medical teams to lesser- developed countries or to bring children to this country for life saving surgeries.

HOW CAN YOU HELP?

Mending Kids International is made up of people like you. People who care enough to ask, "What can I do?" There are many ways that individuals, as well as companies, can assist the volunteers of MKI.

Of course, Mending Kids International needs money. The number of children we can help is in direct proportion to the funds we receive. Any monetary donation is helpful, whether a small personal donation or a corporate grant. Given the volunteer structure of our organization, your dollars are directly available for the children and their medical needs.

We need volunteers who are willing to become licensed foster care families for the children who come to the United States for medical treatment. Almost every child has different needs and it takes a special family to care for a child who is sick, frightened and unfortunately does not speak English. Although the families do not receive any money, Mending Kids International serves as a support network to help with the emotions and logistics involved with hosting a child.

We need medical professionals, such as doctors, nurses, medical technicians, and others willing to donate space and staff time, as well as surplus and used equipment. We need hospitals willing to open their doors to children who have no chance in their own world.

We need airline personnel willing to use their off-duty time to escort children to and from their country. We need donated frequent-flyer tickets, used for both children and medical/staff transportation.

We need civic and church groups as well as individual volunteers to sponsor children or join our fundraising efforts. Many times a small donation of time, service or products to our fundraising events can make a tremendous difference in their success.

We need volunteer office staff to help keep the paperwork generated by our work flowing and efficient.

Above all else, we need your prayers for our children. Through the power of prayer we experience both big and little miracles everyday.


MENDING KIDS INTERTIONAL
24961 The Old Road, Suite 104
Stevenson Ranch, CA 91381
Phone: 661-288-1957
Fax: 661-288-2070
Email: mendingkids@sbcglobal.net

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Who is boss here, anyway?

Find whoever holds the TV remote control and you'll find the boss of the house! Oh how so true! Pint-sized Mini Me has dethroned me as queen of the house ever since she was old enough to sit up and train her baby eyes on the TV screen!

Western babies do not sleep with their parents unlike their Filipino counterparts who are kept closed at all times. I've heard of our practice being criticized by westerners on more than one occasion. Oh well, we sleep better with our precious ones within an arm's reach - what's wrong with that?

Believe me, for some of us, it is not for lack of rooms in the house. My daughter Abby has her own bedroom, thank you!

Friends R and M's children Kique and Igo sleep on their own mattresses on the floor next to their Papy and Mama's bed. Papy R grew up in this set-up too. He and his 3 siblings slept on the floor in their parents' room. Their father would not hear of them sleeping somewhere else! Their house has around ten bedrooms.

Gabby, Raffy and Cody also sleep in mattresses on the floor of Mommy and Daddy's room. Of course, they each have their own bedrooms.

Even a certain relative's four teen-aged children sleep in their parents' room. Ever seen an evacuation center during calamities like for instance, the eruption of Mt. Mayon? Well, that was how they appeared like in that tiny room. Two beds have swallowed up the entire room, you can barely catch any glimpse of the floor! One practically has to walk sideways to get from one point to another. What were these girls' bedrooms for? For studying their lessons, I learned later. Come sleeping time, and all roads led to Mommy's side.

The point is this: although most Filipinos are forced by circumstances to share crammed space like sardines in a can, those bestowed with the privilege of choice still choose to gather their children as close to them as possible.

Why? Maybe because we were brought up that way, and so, we are bringing up our children the same way. And as I already mentioned, we sleep better knowing our little ones are safe and sound close by.

Sharing the bedroom with my Mini Me has it's obvious perks. With my husband away most of the time, her company is gold. Plus I get to watch over her with eagle-sharp eyes. The downside is having a rival to the TV's remote control who would fight me over it with hands, feet, and teeth!

My husband and I tried to remedy the situation by sending her to her room during TV time. One can only take so much of Nickelodeon and Disney Channel, you know. But we started missing her after two days, so we brought her back. We did the next best thing - brought in another TV into our bedroom. That would have solved the situation, if not for the fact that we had to start fighting over the volume! "Mama, I can't hear!!!!!!" ... came the constant whine. (sigh!)

You would have guessed that our monumental problems would have been solved by then ... somewhat. Oh no! Mine just doubled. Instead of just gnashing my teeth through Spongebob Squarepants or Totally Spies ... under the new arrangement, I found myself gnashing through, not only Patrick and Clover, but through all the basketball games and boxing matches TV could show in an entire evening!!! Argh! How about my CSI trio, American Idol, House, Lost, etc? I seriously considered bringing in a third set. Can you just imagine the pandemonium? That was out of the question. I went on without my beloved shows.

When my husband left for another contract abroad, I claimed "his" TV and got reunited with Horatio and company. Relative calm settled over us until "my" TV broke and Abby started trying to hide the remote control from me, ha ha ha!

I put my foot down and declared CSI and American Idol time as Mama's TV time!

After all, I am still the titular head around here. That should amount to something, shouldn't it?

Swashbuckling Pirates, Anyone?


The Somali pirates in their small boat carrying rocket launcher, left, off Somalia, Saturday Nov. 5, 2005. There had been 23 reported attacks off the Somalian coast since March, including attacks on two United Nations ships carrying relief supplies. On Saturday, two boats full of pirates approached the Seabourn Spirit about 100 miles (160 kilometers) off the coast of Somalia and fired rocket-propelled grenades and assault rifles.



The words pirates or piracy either calls to mind the swashbuckling charcoal-eyed Captain Jack Sparrow of the Pirates of the Caribbean or evoke the image of cheap CDs and DVDs every DumagueteƱo knows exactly where to get.

But to the hundreds of thousands of Filipino seafarers and their families, pirates hold none of that romantic glamour. Rather, the name itself holds a decidedly menacing significance.

Piracy is orbbery committed at sea, or sometimes on the shore, by an agent without a commission from a sovereign nation. Seaborne piracy against transport vessels is a very significant issue in the world of international commerce (with estimated worldwide losses of US$13 to $16 billion per year), particularly in the waters between the Pacific and the Indian Oceans, off the Coast of Somalia, and in the Strait of Malacca and Singapore.

One-third of the world’s trade and half of the world’s oil supply are carried through the Strait of Malacca by some 60,000 vessels every year. The strait connects the Pacific and Indian oceans and is the shortest sea route to Asian countries. This being one of the world’s busiest shipping lanes, it is of little wonder this narrow strait bordered by Malaysia and Indonesia became the most pirate-infested channel of the world.

But unlike the unforgettable Captain Jack Sparrow who brandished nothing but his sword and single-shot pistol, 21st century pirates now wield rocket-propelled grenades and AK-47s and chase gigantic but slow-moving merchant ships onboard speedboats with an audacity we’d normally see only in the movies.

The threat posed by these modern-day pirates is nothing to be laughed at. The International Maritime Bureau (IMB) identified Somalia, Malacca Strait, Indonesia, Bangladesh, West Africa, and Nigeria as piracy hotspots. It reported 127 assaults on ships during the first half of 2006. These assaults included 74 instances where ships were actually boarded, 11 were hijacked, 156 seafarers taken hostage, 13 kidnapped and 6 killed. Pirates killed 30 crewmembers in 2004, and 21 a year earlier.

The recent kidnapping of 24 Filipino seafarers off the coast of Nigeria prompted me to write about this topic today. My husband being a seafarer himself, I think of their families and I feel their anguish as they face each day not knowing if they would ever see their loved ones again.

If this fear seems overrated, take this incident for instance: in late November 1998, fishermen in Shantou, China dredged up a find that would go down in the annals of modern maritime history. But their find was nothing anybody in a boat would hope to repeat, ever again. In their net, they found a corpse, its mouth taped shut and bound to a metal weight. Over the course of several days, fishermen in the area would bring up several more — all crew members of the Hong Kong-owned, Panama-flagged cargo ship, the Cheung Son, that had been reported missing weeks before.

Police later determined the 17,000-ton freighter was hijacked by pirates en route from Shanghai to Malaysia. The pirates boarded and took over the ship by posing as customs officials. They killed all of the ship's 23 crewmembers, threw the bodies overboard, and sold the cargo and the ship itself.

They might have gotten away with the crime, had Chinese authorities not discovered some photographs while investigating a suspect. The pictures showed pirates partying among the dead on the Cheung Son. If I am not mistaken, there were Filipino crewmembers onboard that ship.

In 1991, pirates boarded the Nagasaki Spirit, removed its captain from command, set the ship on autopilot, and left with the ship's master for a ransom, leaving the ship going at full speed with no one at the wheel. The Nagasaki Spirit collided with the Ocean Blessing in the Strait of Malacca. The collision and resulting fire took the lives of 51 seamen. There were only 3 survivors between the two ships. The fire on the Nagasaki Spirit lasted for six days; the fire aboard the Ocean Blessing burned for six weeks.

Most attacks though, are rarely as brutal or as spectacular. The majority are basically muggings at sea. A bunch of hooligans pull up alongside a ship, point a rocket-propelled grenade at the hull, and demand a payoff. Others are plain robbery where the pirates would scramble up the sides of the ship with grappling hooks, demand for the ship’s cash and then steal everything of value that isn’t bolted down.

Other attacks are intended to kidnap the crew in the hopes of a hefty ransom. Late last year, the crew of a South Korean fishing vessel was held by Somali pirates for 117 days and released only after an US$800,000.00-ransom was paid.

It is only in attacks like the one on the Cheung Son — where the pirates planned to steal all the cargo, as well as the ship itself - that the crew's lives are immediately at stake. In past attacks of this nature, pirates have set the crewmen adrift in small boats.

The international maritime industry, of course, undertook measures to reduce if not totally eliminate this threat. For instance, they stepped up the patrols conducted by coalition navies in the Malacca Strait to deter any more attacks in that region.

There were several other significant moves carried out by the UN’s International Maritime Organization and other bodies overseeing the maritime industry. But this is not our thrust in this column today.

What I have in mind is this question: how about the merchant ships? How do these ships protect themselves against these assaults?

Unlike cruise ships that have at most 20 armed personnel onboard, cargo ships like those under my husband’s command are not allowed to arm themselves. If they come under attack, the most they have are flare guns originally intended for search and rescue situations. Beyond that, they have nothing but axes and knives, water cannons, plain wits, clever use of navigational skills, and their ardent prayers that the cavalry would soon come to their rescue.

The cruise ship Seabourne Spirit was able to fend off that highly publicized attack last year by out-navigating pirates chasing the ship in a speedboat and by using a parabolic audio device, a "boom box" that emits an ear-splitting sound, to ward off the attackers. Cargo ships are not equipped with this device.

My daughter and I spent two months on board my husband’s ship in 2004, the M/V P&O Nedlloyd Malindi. We traveled through the Strait of Malacca and even passed Somalia on several occasions. The ship goes on high alert in these areas.

Somalia, though, did not pose as much concern as the ship simply gave it a wide berth, about 200 miles – a distance generally believed to be beyond the range of the pirates’ boats.

But the Strait of Malacca was a different concern altogether. As mentioned, this narrow strip crawls with pirates and there is no evading them. They could be anybody. Even the most innocuous fishing boat could be suspect if it sails too close to the ship.

Hours before approaching the Strait, we used to clear my husband’s cabin of any hint of our presence onboard. (When pirates board a ship, they would immediately head for the ship bridge and the captain’s cabin – where they know the cash-rich safe could be found.)

During night crossings at the Strait, my husband would take us to the deepest bowels of the ship where we’d attempt to sleep practically next to gigantic engines going full throttle. The noise was horrendous and the phrase “I could not hear myself think” became my reality.

Nonoy would stay up all night maintaining constant radio contact with his officers and crew on duty. “All clear” reports were very comforting. It meant that no other sea vessel has moved suspiciously closed to the Malindi.

If a fishing boat or worst, a high-powered speedboat is spotted on radar or by some lookout becoming dangerously close to Malindi, the off-duty crew would be roused and ordered to man their pirate stations. Their orders are to protect their ship by preventing pirates from boarding it. An alert would also be sent out to the authorities.

The aft deck (rear end) of the ship is the most vulnerable spot. This is the lowest point in any cargo ship, thus the pirates’ preferred spot for gaining entry. For the pirates to attempt to board the ship elsewhere would require the skills of an accomplished climber trying to scale at least 4-storys of smooth metal wall amidst the rolling and pitching of the ship.

The crew relies solely on high-pressure water cannons to combat the pirates. Malindi had stationary pumps on each end of the aft deck to prevent pirates from climbing up, and movable hoses that could be trained towards a pirate vessel in the hope of tossing them out into the sea even before they could get closed enough to board the ship.

Anyone who’s seen videos of demonstrators being dispersed by the police with water cannons will get the idea.

To the reader, this column today may only seem like an informative piece that opened up an unknown world or a world represented by mere news items that held no personal significance to the viewer.

But the pirates with their M-16s, AK-47s and grenade launchers and the multi-million dollar ships with their multi-million dollar cargo under the care of 18 or so souls with only their radios, water cannons and flare guns for protection are realities being lived on a daily basis by thousands of Filipino seamen all over the world.

Indeed, the romantic Captain Jack Sparrow could exist only in our imagination. The nitty-gritty reality is that modern-day pirates are as vicious as their predecessors. Unless some definitive move is made to curb their nefarious activities, Filipino seamen in their slow-moving behemoths all over the world will remain sitting ducks, helpless pawns in a world where human life holds not much value next to booties as trivial as mobile phones and palm oil.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

A Prayer of Thanks

This prayer was forwarded to me a while ago. I'd like to share this with everyone out there!


DEAR GOD:

I want to thank You for what you have already done.
I am not going to wait until I see results or receive rewards;
I am thanking you right now.

I am not going to wait until I feel better or things look better;
I am thanking you right now.

I am not going to wait until people say they are sorry or until theystop talking about me;
I am thanking you right now.

I am not going to wait until the pain in my body disappears;
I am thanking you right now.

I am not going to wait until my financial situation improves;
I am going to thank you right now.

I am not going to wait until the children are asleep and the house is quiet;
I am going to thank you right now.

I am not going to wait until I get promoted at work or until I get the job;
I am going to thank you right now.

I am not going to wait until I understand every experience in my life that has caused me pain or grief;
I am thanking you right now.

I am not going to wait until the journey gets easier or the challenges are removed;
I am thanking you right now.

I am thanking you because I am alive.

I am thanking you because I made it through the day's difficulties.

I am thanking you because I have walked around the obstacles. I am thanking you because I have the ability and the opportunity to do more and do better.

I'm thanking You because FATHER,
YOU haven't given up on me

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Hey, I didn't know that!

Celebrating the joys children bring to us!


Abby, 6 yrs. old: Now I know why there are commercial breaks. That’s when the director says “CUT!”
* * *

(Scene: 3- or 4-year old child eyeing mother’s sagging breasts)

Child: Why are your boobs looking down? They look so sad!

Note: Child’s identity withheld to preserve poor mother’s dignity

* * *

Raffy Cabrera to Mom Dra. Cynthia Cabrera: Mom, I know how we can make more money. We can move to a small house and have our big house rented!

* * *

(Scene: Then 4-yr old Cody Cabrera having Loose Bowel Movement. Tita Carmen Cabrera about to wash her FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER.)

Cody: Tita Carmen, are you sure you know what you’re doing?

* * *

(Scene: Child rummaging through a drawer)
Child: Mommy, what is this? (holding up a condom)
Mother (panicking): Dad, unsa daw na? (Dad, what is that?)
Father: That’s candy.
A few days later…
Child: Why didn’t it taste like candy? I licked it. It was bitter!

* * *

Gabby Cabrera: Tita, why do you keep buying us toys?
Tita Carmen Cabrera: It’s because I didn’t get married and I don’t have my own children.
Gabby: Oh boy! We’re lucky!

* * *

Abby: Tita Cris, you’re a lawyer, right? My Mom told me lawyers know everything!
Atty. Cris Bonganciso: Well, kind of ….
Abby: Well, if you really know everything, tell me … what am I thinking of right now?

* * *

Cody: Mom! Your tummy’s so big! You look pregnant! I know why. It’s because you eat too much!

* * *

Abby: Ma, people go to heaven only after they die, right? So how did the painters know how to draw pictures of heaven when they haven’t been there yet?

* * *

(Scene: Abby looking sourly at her mother’s friend Marilyn Elemia):
Abby: Mommy Tosay, don’t you ever get tired of talking, talking, talking and laughing, laughing, laughing?

* * *

Cody: Mom, I think that you should get more jobs so we will become rich.
Dra. Cynthia Cabrera: Why do you say that Langga?
Cody: When Lola Meding (Cabrera) was young, she had five jobs: teacher, planter ….. she was very rich! But now that she is old, she can’t work anymore, she is poor now …

* * *

(Scene: Then 4-year old Abby tucking the blanket securely under her sick Papa’s body. She did such a good job, her father ended up cocooned from the neck down. Father and Mother looked tenderly at each other, with the same thought running through their minds: “what a sweet and caring child we have …”)

Abby: Look Mama! Now we won’t smell the stink every time Papa farts!

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

"MOVE ON ... ASSHOLE!!!

January 23, 2007: I was called an ASSHOLE!!! A big hulking FOREIGNER with a very distinctive American accent riding his motorcycle shouted at me across the road as I was turning my car towards my daughter’s school. I have never felt so enraged in my entire life!

I would have taken that insult lightly coming from another Filipino, but from a GUEST of our OWN CITY? A foreigner residing in the Philippines, my very own COUNTRY???? Abusing me right in the presence of my own child????

Whatever did I do to him? I was not driving fast enough and got in his way, that's what!

I should not let that BRUTE affect me this way, as I’ve been telling myself. But as I now sit in front of my computer, I fume with indignation thinking of that BIG BULLY, who, as far as I am concerned, has overstayed his welcome in my very own Dumaguete!

That swine should be taught his lessons on manners and proper courtesy, but really, can a little worm-brained American who apparently has never set foot in any classroom, much less entered the era of the civilized world, and whose very existence is centered at elbowing his way around Filipinos whom he considers his inferiors, be taught anything above that? I bet that Neanderthal can’t even be taught how to use a deodorant!!! (My apologies to the pigs and the worms. I did you great injustice by naming you in the same breath as that tyrant. You’re too noble and dignified compared to “that”, actually!)

How I wished at that exact moment to go after him and pummel his face blue and black, and as finishing touch, stuff his mouth full of cat poo to deodorize it a bit!

Realistically though, I am barely five feet two inches tall. That pre-historic beast must be at least six feet three, with a bodybuilder’s physique! And to think that when I first caught a glimpse of him prior to our encounter, I thought of the Greek God, Adonis ….

All man by outward appearances, but inside … I wonder! His affinities as to gender seriously comes into question.

Oh well, I therefore conclude that his massive bulk is INVERSELY PROPORTIONAL to the size of his brain and manners!

My husband Nonoy had his own close encounter with another foul-mouthed American a few years back. Without any provocation from him whatsoever, this elderly “guest” sped past our vehicle and shouted MORON at him. (Actually, Nonoy was driving slowly. That must have been the provocation.) My husband went after him and a big argument ensued. When I asked why he had to stoop into that person’s level, he explained to me in this way:


“Whenever I’m in their country, I obey their laws, observe my manners, and take their insults and abusive behavior in silence, because it’s their turf and there is nothing that I could do about that.

But NO WAY will I go on taking that kind of treatment right here in my own country! They are in OUR LAND, let them accord to us the very same respect and courtesy we give to them when we are in theirs!”

I agree with my husband wholeheartedly!!!

Now that I have let my fury out of my system, may I say that not all of our foreign guests can be equated with those two non-entities. I am not judging all foreigners on the same level, nor do I see them in the same light with which I view those two. I judge people, foreign or Filipino brother, according to his own merits.

I am reserving my wrath and acerbic opinions only to “Asshole” and “Moron”. Those two are in a class of their own. I will form opinions as to the rest as I see them, one person at a time, and pending that, I give the benefit of the assumption that every one of them is as decent as any human being could ever be.

I don’t have foreigners within my immediate circle of friends but I do know Negros Chronicle columnist Kojak Hughs of whom I hold the highest respect. And then there is David Atwood, a British gentleman I regularly correspond by email with. I have not met him personally yet, but David and his beautiful wife Caye, I regard with warmest and most tender affection.

David and Kojak - compassionate and decent guests of our country – they see us Filipinos with all our frailties, follies and shortcomings. Yet, I know that they respect us and judge us the way we would want to be judged: not as a people, but one person at a time.


To our foreign lady guest whom columnist Cecilia Hoffman wrote about (Gender Bender, Metropost, Jan. 21 issue), may I apologize in behalf of all DumagueteƱos for the lousy treatment you are receiving from SOME of our men. If it's any consolation, you will always find those primitive types every country you’d go to. But that’s no excuse.

As our guest, you deserve to be treated fairly and with utmost respect, just as we too, deserve to be treated with the same courtesy from those whom we welcome into our shores.

Friday, January 19, 2007

"Why do men look down when they pee?"


I chickened out when my 6-year old asked me that question. Caught off guard by this sudden query, my mind froze and for the life of me, I could not think of any acceptable answer!

(By the way, in case you are wondering how Abby got to witness this "phenomenon" - Filipino men have this disgusting habit of urinating the way dogs do - PRACTICALLY EVERYWHERE!!! Their favorite spots are against walls and fences, and it does not matter to them if that unfortunate fence happens to be at the roadside, easily visible to passing cars with impressionable and highly inquisitive children on board!

Don't they pity us parents who will have to fend off the relentless barrage of questions brought about by their thoughtlessness? Ha ha ha! Of course, THAT would be the last thing in their primitive and uncultured minds when nature would start calling!)

Why indeed do men look down when they pee? Panicked thoughts ran through my mind … why? … why? … think Olga … to admire their appendages? What??? I told myself, you CANNOT tell her that!! Besides, you’re not sure that it’s really it! What then? That they are ashamed? … hiding their faces? … after all, Abby already said that they were stinking up the place and harming the plants! But what if she follows up with “then why do they do it anyway?” If so, I’ll be seeing no end to this issue!

But I could not come up with any satisfactory answer guaranteed to put an end to this curiosity, so I took the coward’s way out and replied, “Hey, am I a boy? How would I know? Better ask Papa.”

Sure enough, Abby grabbed the phone from me when her father called a few days later. I could just imagine what went through her father’s mind when he heard THE QUESTION. Abby was quiet, simply nodding her head knowledgeably from time to time, and interrupting her father with occasional giggles and “oh yeahs!”

“What did Papa say?” “He said that they have to look down so they would know where to shoot their pee!” She burst out laughing as she added, “Papa said their pee might go to their pants if they don’t watch!” (Why didn’t I think of that?)

Our children make us groan and sigh and scratch our heads once they start bombarding us with those simple yet oh-so-difficult questions to answer. Moms and Dads could definitely identify with me when I’d write of those times when we struggled for suitable answers to questions, the truth of which, they were not quite ready yet!

Ever since Abby started talking, I’ve lost count of the times I’ve resorted to ingenious means of answering question without really answering them, or those moments when I squirmed as I got challenged for my inconsistent answers.

Take this question for instance: “how did the father’s sperm got inside the mother?” By the way, Abby already knows about the sperm and the egg from her collection of Grolier’s “Under the Microscope” and from watching National Geographic’s “In the Womb”.

I’ve been dreading that question for a long, long time. When it finally came, I was as unprepared as ever. I’ll never forget those knotted brows and that baffled look on her innocent face. I simply crossed my fingers and mumbled something about kissing. She accepted it – but for how long? - Oh God, I dread the answer to that!

The most recent challenge I got dropped out of nowhere. “Mama, didn’t you say that a girl has to marry first before she can have babies? How come Ate this and Ate that have babies but THEY DO NOT HAVE HUSBANDS YET?” (The last six words are capitalized to match Abby’s scandalized tone.)

Please humor me but I just have to give vent to my frustration at how difficult it is to instill values when our children are constantly being inundated with conflicting realities. How do we find the proper balance? Can we still mold their young minds toward the direction that we want them to take? We can only hope and pray.

Going back to Abby’s latest challenge, I know that I failed miserably in satisfying her curiosity with my evasive answers. How about you? How would you answer that question to a six-year old? I wish you all the luck!

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Erma Bombeck


“Loving Erma more and more with each turn of the page!” This was the text message I sent to my editor Irma Faith Pal regarding the author of the book she surprised me with last Christmas.

I haven’t had the privilege of “knowing” Erma Bombeck before Irma “introduced” her to me. What an introduction!! I fell in love with her from the first page and could not put the book down until I reached the last!

It was truly a most wonderful gift. Irma’s Christmas present did not stop at the tangible object she brought over one early morning. It went on to introduce me to a world that is as alien as it is familiar to me. Why? This is the title of the book: Motherhood: The Second Oldest Profession. Do I need explain further?

Syndicated columnist Erma Bombeck wrote a humor column three times a week for 900 newspapers from her home in Arizona. She had been writing about mothers and motherhood for twenty years. In this book, Erma celebrates motherhood – the second older profession, and the biggest on-the-job training program ever. She told of the joys and pangs, the fulfillment and the frustration, the poignancy and the pathos of being a mother.

As I read, I was amazed at how easily I could identify with the mothers Erma Bombeck wrote about. Their sentiments were also mine!!! Although I knew that motherhood transcends everything, it was still surprising how I share so much with women in another part of the world whose lifestyles, culture, and even beliefs are so vastly different from mine.

My interest roused, I looked her up in the Internet and sadly learned that she was taken away by the Big C. When she learned that she had this disease, she wrote a poignant poem that touched me so deeply I decided to share it with everyone who reads this column. Her message was very simple: let’s live our lives to the fullest and SAVOR EACH MOMENT before it becomes too late.



IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER
By Erma Bombeck


I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner, even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television - and more while watching life.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was my only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."

There would have been more "I love yous".. more "I'm sorrys"... but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it... Live it... and never give it back.

Don't forget to stop and smell the roses today! Take time to tell a loved one how much you love them, do something nice for yourself, and stop to give God thanks for all of it.

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Abby and Carla at the Peryahan!

Carla (in blue jacket) and Abby (in orange shirt) enjoying the ball-throwing game. Abby got so lucky that night she won three times! I don't know if this game is rigged, as most usually are in carnivals and peryahans ... you place a P1.00 bet on a certain number and throw a ball. If it lands on the same number ... lo and behold!!! You're the proud owner of funchum or some junk food!

This picture shows a truly excited Abby as she watched her ball inching closer and closer to her number!!!

HER FUN THAT NIGHT HAS NEVER BEEN EQUALLED BY HER GAMEBOY! and that's the truth!


Carla (foreground) and Abby (background) enjoying the rickety carousel that appears older than their grandmothers under the close supervision of two hawked-eyed stage mothers ... that's in addition to the Abby's beloved Tlyn standing guard in the background!

"BO ... RING!" Verdict of this beloved twosome. They finished the ride with perfectly contrived looks of boredom complete with faces cupped by their palms for maximum effect!

A STUDY OF CONTRAST!

Pensive Carla - This picture mirrors Carla's personality - a quiet and shy child who can manage to stay put in one place for a full five minutes!


Goofy Abby - my personal whirlwind, the complete opposite of Carla! Honestly, I am getting apprehensive she might be diagnosed with some kind of hyperactive disorder (God forbid!) - she's always moving even her lola (the most formidable and tight-fisted person I know) offered her money if she would sit still for 5 minutes! Needless to say ... she didn't last 30 seconds!

Looking at these pictures made me think how children, when they're not being the spoiled brats that they sometimes are, are soooo easy to please. Take them to a roadside peryahan and you will see unbridled joy and excitement that can be equal to any trip to Disneyland!

Is it still surprising why I want that innocence preserved for as long as possible?

Whoever would want our children to become as jaded as we are?

"Been there, done that ... (ho-huuum) ... what's next? do you have anything exciting/expensive/new there?"

Do we really want our children adapting this attitude?

True happiness cannot be measured by any amount. It sounds like a well-worn cliche, I know, but whether we like it or not ... it is true!

It is in the little details of our lives, like a child's laughter, a friend's hug, or a stranger's smile. I did not write this myself, but it is so meaningful to me I am quoting the rest: "They may be small, but when we look back in our lives, we will realize that these are the things that made our lives complete!"

Another truism that we can gather from those text messages that we receive from our friends goes this way: "The way to be happy is to be grateful even for the simple blessings that come our way." Isn't it so true?

And here's another gem: "Life is pretty simple. When you're asking for apples and life hands you lemons, made lemonade. If your on your way out and it starts to rain, at least you won't have to water the plants anymore! It's simply a matter of putting things into their proper perspective."

Again, it goes back to our attitude towards the events the come into our lives. We can either choose to be pulled down or we can choose to see them in a brighter light and turn them into our advantage.

I'm getting kind of deep here. And to think that when I started writing this, I merely wanted to celebrate the simple joys of childhood that we all try so hard to reach for but couldn't quite manage. Woe to us!

Friday, January 05, 2007

Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and Me


Abby with cousins Raffy, Gabby and Cody Cabrera during their Gameboy tournament on Christmas Day!



“It’s UNFAIR!” … whined my beloved brat last Christmas.

“Why did Santa give three to Raffy and I got only one? I asked for six!” … she continued with her heart-tugging oh-so-woeful expression complete with mouth that somehow managed to pout into unbelievable lengths!

Abby was referring to the single game cartridge for her Nintendo Gameboy that she “got” from Santa compared to her buddy Raffy Cabrera who got three.

Of course, Abby and Raffy agreed beforehand what they would ask for. Of course, one very cooperative mother encouraged Abby to write him letters so “Santa” would know what she wanted for Christmas.

Christmas came and that very cooperative mother wanted to kick herself in the head for perpetuating the Santa myth, or the Tooth Fairy for that matter!

I planted this seed and got so good at cultivating it Abby came to believe that she could ask for everything and anything under the sun.

One time, she even asked for a MICROSCOPE from the Tooth Fairy!!! For pete’s sake! That thing must cost ten grand! For a tooth? For a six-year old? Well, if it’s for education … and GRANTING that I had plenty of dough stashed somewhere … but I’m digressing.

So what could a poor mother who was neck deep in unpaid bills do to veer thoughts away from microscopes?

Resort to creative thinking, what else? I told her Tooth Fairy is as small as Tinkerbell!

“And how heavy is your school’s microscope?” Oh yeah! It was heavy alright!

“How then” I asked, “could a tiny creature such as the tooth fairy carry such a heavy present?”

“Oh yes!” she wholeheartedly agreed with me.

And while we were still at it, I went on improvising, like tell her to ask only for something that could be found in Dumaguete (so Tooth Fairy won’t have to travel far), or something that’s not expensive (or she’ll think you’re too greedy)!

How did I cope with the outburst last Christmas? I told her Santa must have made a mistake when he gave a box with only one cartridge instead of three … you see, he’s soooo busy … got gazillions of children to give presents to …and poor Santa, he’s soooo old already (thus forgetful!) … see his white beard?

I know … I know! Lying is bad and I’m setting a terrible example! Will she resent me when she finally learns the truth? I don’t know. What I know though is that my friend Chedette’s daughter, Ina, was terribly disappointed with her Mom when she caught her doing Tooth Fairy’s job!

What does this tell us? That children want their fairy tales and make-believe world? That we owe it to them to make them believe for as long as possible?

Despite my periodic head-kicking urges, I believe that this should be so. Every child deserves magic in his world.

When Abby was told by another child that Santa was not true ... that it’s the parents who actually give all those stuff ...

Abby is only 6 years old. She cannot lose her sense of wonder yet!!! I had to cook up another tale: “remember the song … Santa Claus is coming to town? That he’s making a list who’s naughty or nice? That’s because only nice children get presents from him. Maybe your friend ---- has been naughty and his parents knew that he won’t be getting any present from Santa. But they didn’t want him to be sad, so they had to get his present themselves and pretend it came from Santa … and got caught ... ”

I breathed a big sigh of relief when Abby swallowed the story hook, line and sinker.

Am I doing the right thing? I really don’t know. But I do know that Abby can only be a child once. She will get to enjoy the innocence of childhood only for so long. The realities of life will always be there, lurking in the shadows, ready to pounce at every chance.

So I’ll shield her while I still can and while she still believes everything I’d tell her.

As for her excessive expectations, I’ll just improvise along the way - like tell her Santa has gazillions of children to give presents to, and it would be unfair to the others if she’d ask for more than one!

And as for wanting to kick myself, I will always want to do that first, then think of a way to wriggle out of my predicament next!

Happy New Year everyone!